Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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What's brown and smells like poop? A monkey.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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The WNBA

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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What starts with 's' and ends in 'ex'? S.e.x -XH

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Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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What did the man at the haberdashery say? Six and seven-eighths, bub, six and seven-eighths.

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1. In 2010, 8.8 million people fell ill with Tuberculosis. 2. Up to 70,000 children died in 2010 due to Tuberculosis. 3. Tuberculosis is the leading killer of people living with HIV with 1.4 million deaths. 4. Death from Tuberculosis has dropped 40% since 1990. 5. No country has ever eliminated Tuberculosis entirely. 6. About 46 million Tuberculosis patients have been successfully treated since 1995. 7. Children under 5 years old rarely get the disease. 8. Edgar Allen Poe’s mother, foster mother, and wife all died of Tuberculosis. 9. It can take up to 12 months to recover from Tuberculosis. 10. People with tuberculosis have symptoms such as cough that “won’t go away”, a cough that brings up blood, a fever lasting longer than 2 weeks, night sweats, fatigue, or noticeable amounts of acute weight loss. 11. Nearly 2 million people die from tuberculosis yearly. 12. Tuberculosis kills 5,000 people daily.

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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What's invisble and smells like bananas? My mailbox.

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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