Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +10

170

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats 2+2? gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the mouse cross the road, and then go down it? It tried to get cheese on the other side, but got hit by a SUV and was stuck to the wheels. The rat on the wheel goes "Squish, Scratch,, Mush........

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

thumb_up thumb_down -22

you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

thumb_up thumb_down -112

You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -150

knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

thumb_up thumb_down +95

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down +87

What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops