mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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Send "What Makes You Beautiful" Ringtone to your CellShowHideSong Notes - Go behind the words! You're insecure, don't know what for You're turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or Don't need make-up - to cover up Being the way that you are is eno-o-ough Everyone else in the room can see it Everyone else but you Baby you light up my world like nobody else The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed the way you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! If only you saw what I could see you'd understand why I want you so desperatley Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe You don't know Oh oh You don't know you're beautiful! Read more: ONE DIRECTION - WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/what-makes-you-beautiful-lyrics-one-direction.html#ixzz1sJdk3KHD Copied from MetroLyrics.com

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

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I was gonna smack jakes titties...but michael was already doing it....:/

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A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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What do you call a Mexican playing basketball? A man of hispanic heritage that enjoys the sport of basketball.

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kaite is dumb that is true

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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What do you call a man that's very angry? A Very Angry Man.

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Refrigerator

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What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 BIG black guys? The most common NFL Offence

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Whats worse the people posting real jokes on (Anti Jokes)? 911

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A black guy walks into his bar. So he pays his tab and couldn't have been more coureious.

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What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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