Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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CRY

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spell backwards: taco cat

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Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

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Oh...okay, good.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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What's the difference between a mole and dynamite? - Moles don't explode... unless you fill them with dynamite.

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What does one call black men pushing a car up a hill? Black Car. What does one call white men pushing a car up a hill? White Car. What does one call Mexicans pushing a car up a hill? Grand Theft Auto

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What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor dog

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What's worse than someone who thinks Sting is a nice guy? Sting.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

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Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops