What did the man do after he got in his car with out his keys? He started it up and drove Away

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

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69 :)

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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FIONN'S LIFE

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Are you one of those gay rapists that flame around telling people no all the time?

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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

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Two elephants in a bathtub, one says, "Pass the soap." The other one says, "No soap. Radio?"

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Miškinis gerai prikolina.

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What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

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When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ahmadinejad. Well then get the **** away from my door!

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Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? Their skin color.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

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What did the black person use to peel a banana? His hands.

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what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

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A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

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What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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