What would you get if you crosses a potato and a frog? Nothing because potatoes cannot breed with animals

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A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

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4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Anti-Joke Delivery Service. Oh, just leave it by the door.

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Donkey lips

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

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When the loaf of bread crashed the car the wife was mad. What do you think she did? She put Nutella on him toasted him and then ate him

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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