Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

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What is a jew in space? Dead

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Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

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what's the difference between "rita , sue and bob too ," and rocky II ? rocky II is about boxing

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

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A: Knock Knock B: ...

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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Q: How do you make three atheists cry? A: Kill their families.

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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Why didn't the monkey cross the road? He saw the chicken get run over.

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So I took this girl into my room we got in bed, We got under the covers and.... We had a rather delightful game of scrabble.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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