A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

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Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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What's worse than the Holocaust? People trying to be funny writing the same jokes over and over.

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My dads so gay he has sex with other men for fun.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she has to wear large clothes.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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The global news

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I would rape her

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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