What happens when you try to rescue a cat from a tree? It jumps on your face, falls down, and dies.

Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

What do you call Eric Torres A furnace magnet

what has 2 eyes but can't see... an asian

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

What do you call 99 lawyers in a car going off a cliff with no driver and another lawyer running in the other direction? A dick move.

Where can you find a good lawyer? At a reputable law firm.

What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

knock! knock! whos there? doctor doctor who? no Doctor Brown, you have cancer

How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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