I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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some people say that i am gay they are right cause i like boys

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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What's worse than getting raped? Getting anal raped twice

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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What's big, black, juicy, large, and succulent? A gourmet meatball.

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

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A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the European wife. is very disappointed in her night.

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hi

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What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

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if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

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Why Can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops