when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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How many dead children can you fit in a garbage can? Give me a knife and i will find out

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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