What do you call a Black person in a city with high crime rates? Whatever their name happens to be.

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A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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(joker) Do you like fishsticks? (recipient) "No" (any response from the joker at this point qualifies as anti joke)

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Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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if you like, i will tell my crush maddy i love her, just kidding i wont do shit.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

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What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

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A black guy walks into a basketball court.

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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A bus with 11 passengers is making its final stops for the night. At main street it drops of 6 people and picks up 2, at broad it drops of 3 and picks up 4, at 3rd street it drops of 5 and picks up 1, and finally at 6th street it drops off 4 and picks up 0. How many people are still on the bus? 13 if you include the dead bodies in the back

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the white father tell his mexicon son and his wife as he left for work bye

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Knock, Knock ...

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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oh my god! what? i heard this joke the other day and it was hilarious. ok, tell me? actually it doesn't matter i can't remember anyway.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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