Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a tumor Doctors give it 6 weeks before I die...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

thumb_up thumb_down -40

How are cars made? By magic.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

thumb_up thumb_down -42

1)Roses are red... 2)5 black men... 3)dead babies walk into a large crowded bar before dissolving into oblivion at the literary incongruency 4)of the whole situation.... 5)yes chicken got to the other side BEFORE me #)stupid chicken (aka duck rose man help....)

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Jesse gets so many ladies

thumb_up thumb_down -48

i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

How do you make someone stop talking? Shove a rock down their throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops