Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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sexual intercourse.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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The Olympics

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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Women's Rights.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops