What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The Police, you wife died in a car accident.

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How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

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A man walks into a bar, Esept it wasn't a bar and he was running.

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Why did the woman fall off the skateboard? She hit a rock.

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Q. have you seen stevie wonders last album? A. neither has he.

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops