The Rock: What is your name? Jeff: My name is... The Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong WALKS on the moon. Michael Jackson rapes little boys

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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justin Beiber is gay. what else is there to say...

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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if you watched wife-swap years ago, you'll remember that one family that bought anything they could because they didnt have to pay till 12-21-12 because they thought the world would end LOL FUN FAMILY NOW HUH

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family cried about his final days of his life.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

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Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

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A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops