Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What's wonderful about babies? They will die sooner or later....All Of Them

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What did a tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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Why didn't Valerie go on over to Amy's house? Because she's dead.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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PATHETIC

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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what would be worse then 9/11 and the holocaust? -if the twin towers fell on a concentration camp

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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a man is stranded on a deserted island with no food, water or clothing and he comes upon a magical genie lamp, a genie pops out and tells him that he has three wishes, the man asks for food,water, and clothing, the genie says "of course" the man was elated but then the genie says " but i'm afraid to tell you that genies don't exist and your hallucinating from your harsh living conditions...i'm sorry" the man lived two more weeks before dying slowly...

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Justin Bieber

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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Q: what's black and white and red all over? A: someone getting murderd on a news paper

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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