Ju... Just why?

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

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Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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YOLO You only like Oreos

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What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

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Hitler Call of Duty Score Kills: 6 million Jews Deaths: 1

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

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What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

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whos the bitch now!?! you are.

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Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

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What did the toaster say to the raisin? Nothing. The toaster was mute and the raisin had lost his hearing in a terrible full-contact origami accident.

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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What's Terry short for? He's missing a leg.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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