roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

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A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

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A chicken walks into a McDonald's and the cashier asked the chicken what he would like to order. A man waiting for his meal walked out realizing that the employees of this restaurant were not who he wanted making his food.

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

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What do Jews and Sloths have in common? They are both Mammals.

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Q.When is a dog, not a dog? A. never

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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Q: Whats the biggest lie? A: The Cake...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops