Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

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What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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What's red ad looks like a green bucket? A red bucket to a color blind person

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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A man walks into a bar. I forgot the rest of the story but the punchline goes something something something something your mom is wwhore.

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Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Why can't Johnny run? He has no legs.

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Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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