Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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Why did the moron jump through the window?

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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1,984

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A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. There's a massive earthquake and the bar collapses to the ground, killing everyone inside.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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Society.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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Knock Knock! Hmm. I'm not expecting anyone. It's probably just a telemarketer, and I'm not very interested in purchasing anything at the moment. I won't answer it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Knock knock! Who's there? an atheist. an atheist who oh sorry, I forgot atheists don't knock on people's doors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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