So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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A black man orders a pizza to be delivered to his house. He is delightfully pleased at the speed in which the pizza was delivered and decided he would order from that pizza shop again in the near future.

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What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

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What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

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A married couple is arguing over the temperature in their house. The wife wants it at 62 degrees and the husband wants it at 74. What should they do? Nothing while they are arguing their daughter decides to put it at 32 and freeze them to death

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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A blonde went to a doctor for a checkup. The blonde couldn't hear the doctor 'cuz she had headphones on so the doctor took them off. A couple of minutes later she died. The doctor was curious so he put the headphones on. It was saying, "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out..."

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Q. Why did the boy get so fat? A. From playing Pokemon Pearl Edition

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

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why did the man start living on the street? he lost his job, his wife left him, and had his identity stolen.

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What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant

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What do a turtle and a tree have in common? They both can fly except for the turtle............and the tree

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Did you know Hellen Keller's dog ran away? You would have to if your name was RaAeltraERKAERMaelaefa

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What doesn't kill you makes you injured

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Three men walk into a bar. Start drinking, fight each other and sustain massive head injuries.

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Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? This is 7, if you do everything I say, 6 will live.

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Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

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What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops