What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

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What color is red paint? Red

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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What time is it? 20:45.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex afender

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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Why did the black man fail math? He had missed many classes due to his mother's terminal cancer.

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Yo mamas so fat she weighs more than other people

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One time I masturbated by myself

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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What is a black guy's favorite hobby? Stamp collecting.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his cow? Where's my wife?

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I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

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Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

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what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

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Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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