- Anti Joke

Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

25

What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

A blonde and a brunette are falling from a cliff. They are going to die.

Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

Dave and Tim walk into a bar. The bartender says to Dave: "What'll it be?" Dave is black.

What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

Knock knock the family is on vacation and doesn't answer

Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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