"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

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Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Penis.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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Are you gay? No. Ok.

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whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

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Q:whats comes back to life and says RAR A;jesus

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Knock Knock Who's there? F F who? F you.

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops