A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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knock knock, whos there? your neighbor's cat..no not really, but your sister just got raped

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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What's the difference between a Green Grocers and Fighter pilot! One flys a plane and one sells food.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Nothing, we eat pizza and we respect Jews.

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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