Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

"Knock Knock" "Whose there?" "It's who's." The grammar nazi has struck again.

What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

What do a bench and a mexican have in common? (don't worry it's not racist) You'll find both in a park. (I lied)

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. They both start to pee, and the white man looks over to the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the blackman's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels embaraased at his latent homosexuality. They both leave, never seeing eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

why are tree's green cause that's how god made it

A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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