What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

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WNBA

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Two Jews walk into a bank. They make a deposit and leave.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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Man: Want to hear an anti joke? Woman: ok Man: Why did the the girl fall off her bike? Woman: I don't know. Man: She got hit by a refrigerator. Woman: ok

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

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Q:Why did the cop arrest the black guy with a gun? A: because he shot a family and when the funeral was held he cooked a grenade killed everyone and peed on there grave, later he rapped two dogs and stabbed a crippled then tea bagged a horse to death.

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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Look how far I can kick this bucket

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how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

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how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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Friends are a lot like snow You pee on them, they disappear

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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Q: Whats black, white and red all over? A: not me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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