why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

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What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

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how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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Are you Drew?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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