- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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What did the poor sickly orphan get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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666

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Whats tan and jumps higher than a frog? Mexicans..

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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Justin Bieber walks into a Gay-Bar. He is then kindly escorted out because he is underage. Also, because the patrons gave him certain looks that brought concern to the heterosexual bartender.

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop?...... Dr Dre.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops