How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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what did the man see in the mirror? Nothing, he was blind.

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What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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Sorry boss

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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what do you call a little girl next to a mexican? a rape victim.

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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What's the difference between a wire fence and a wooden fence? You can't see through a wooden fence

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penis hehehehe

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Man walks into a gun store, buys a gun. The same man goes home and lives happily till he dies of cancer. His son takes the gun shots himself, survives then later dies of cancer.

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Why did the guy throw a clock out his window? Because he was mentally unstable and needs help.

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey lolololol Im a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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