Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

why did the cute baby start crying?? because its feet were eaten by rats.

You're*

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

Men's Sports

Knock Knock It's the police, im afraid your wife has been killed in a horrible car accident.

How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

I had my period 3 days ago.

How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

What happened to the short kid on april 30th: His girlfriend broke up with him

What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

Why does life suck? Because it does

I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

What happened after Peter broke his toe? He went into cardiac arrest and died.

Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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