Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Being a Japanese person in Hiroshima on this date.August 6, 1945

Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

Anthony Dephillips is handsome

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a truck.

What did Obama say to Hilary? Will you be my secretary of state?

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

Your in a building there's no windows ,doors and a sement floors and u only have a mirror and a table how do you get out You look in the mirror see what u saw take the saw saw the table in half two halfs make a hole clime out the hole

Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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