I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

British Dentistry

What did the little boy with cancer say right before he died? Nothing. He was very sick and could not speak at all during his final weeks.

Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

Why are blondes stupid? They are not. Its just in America society has been given that impression through inaccurate and crude jokes.

why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

Yo momma is SO black.

Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

Hello penis

Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

Why was the teacher laying on the floor? Because shes dead...

why did the kid fall over and break his neck? Because he slipped on the ice-cream from the kid who got hit by a bus.

A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She never got her drivers license.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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