Picture This, you are going down the freeway in a yellow four-door banana, going 75 mph and all 4 tires blow out, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Theres no bones in ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

This is my first joke don't ????mine. You did didn't you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worst that the Holocaust? Another one.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So an Indian walks into a bar and says: ? ?? ??? ?????? ??? ??? ? ??? ??? ??????

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I hate blackniggers

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Spanish Inquisition.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Violets are blue your mum is fat and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A Mexican walks up to a fence in Texas and watches as the police take away his next door neighbor for tax evasion.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops