What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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guess what what that wasnt it

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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Whats the difference between a ferrari and a boner? Too much to list.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How does the black, high school kid get his new clothes, IPod and nikes? By working at his family-owned convenient store with his father and grandfather every night after school, but not until his homework is done.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Why did you visit antijoke.com? Because you don't find real jokes funny.

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A black man walks in to a bar and says ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose... But that's disgusting.

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A Jew! Bless you.

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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what does a black guy and a chinease guy have is common? I don't know but it would be interesting to find out.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

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What did the normal guy say when he went to the Special Olympics? What a bunch of retards.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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What do you call a man who laughed at a joke that wasn't funny? A man who gets amused at the littlest things.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir......my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Three men walk into a bar. Neither of them saw it coming

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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