Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Penis.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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*spongebob voice* 25

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Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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Q.whats the worlds funniest joke???? A.not this one this ones crap

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Like if you like big tits.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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There are two hippopotamus' in a pond cooling off from the hot day. One is named Nathaniel IV and the other Timothy. Timothy asks Nathaniel, "Nathaniel, what day is it today?" Nathaniel then replies," I believe it is Tuesday." Timothy is taken back then replies," How odd. I could've sworn it was Wednesday."

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Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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