A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

010011100110100101100011011001010010000001110100011100100111100100101100001000000110001001110101011101000010000001110100011010000110010100100000011010100110111101101011011001010010000001101001011100110010000001110011011011110110110101100101011101110110100001100101011100100110010100100000011001010110110001110011011001012

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was 6 afraid of 7? He's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how many rapists does it take to screw a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +2

if one legs christmas and the other is new years then you have a rare desease call holidaylegtosisisisisis

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a bin lorry

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is better than winning a medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Tits In The Third Grade? A. Because She Was 21

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops