Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why couldn't the one armed man juggle because it was snowing outside and his one room flat was to small

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than 1000 babies stapled to one tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 tress.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call the black president? Mr.President

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what a filthy dirty mess also dirt

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Chuck Norris drove to McDonalds and ordered a Whopper. Much to his dismay, McDonalds does not make Whoppers, because that is the signature fast-food burger of McDonald's biggest competitor, Burger King.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A chicken cross's the road it dies when a car runs it over

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops