What is cold? Winter

An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

What is the difference between a duck? It can neither ride a bike.

Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

A man walks into a doctor's office, he pees in a cup and is diagnosed with diabetes.

Whats Black and White all Over? Ask Your Mother

What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

whats brown and smells like shit shit

Women

What do you call a black man with his doctorate in the field of marine biology? Doctor

YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

Why did the little boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken

1500 Jews were ordered to walk along a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

Ryan Chang is funny.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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