Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

You just won the game...

What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

Type 17 diabetes. Hepatitis R. Pubic Lice. Just Pubic Lice.

Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

Dancing Potatoe!

A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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