- Anti Joke

My butt!!!!!!!!

Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

What's longer then Hitlers gas bill Chris Browns Penis

A flock of ostriches run into a mine field

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

A mushroom walks into a bard and the bartender admonishes him and tells him to leave. The mushroom says "Aw, c'mon...you stupid jerk!"

What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

whats an orphans favorite memory? Not one with his/her parents! PWNED TO ALL YOU ORPHANS OUT THURRRRR!!!!

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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