Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because chickens can move and the road just happened to be in its path.

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What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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A Muslim boards a plane and he sits done quietly and politely just like everyone else, the plan lands safely at its destination.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other side

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Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

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Knock Knock whose there? child abuse...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't like anyone who is not a straight, white male.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

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you

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Why Oscar lives with elephants in a zoo ? Because he's an elephant.

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A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

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What did one mail box say to the other? NOTING! In-animate objects cannot speak...

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

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You`re honor, he fell off the staircase, I demand that staircase ends up in jail! Case closed.

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There were once two horses names Bill and Ed who lived on a farm. Every day Bill and Ed would race from the old barn past the broken tractor to the tall oak tree. Bill was very fast, but Ed always beat Bill. After many months, Bill was fed up. "I've had it with you!" he shouted to Ed. "I won't race with you anymore." Ed was very sad. He liked racing very much. The next day, Ed asked Bill, "Hey Bill, come race with me to the tall oak tree!" But Bill said, "No, you'll just beat me. I won't race with you." Ed thought for a moment, then said, "Fine, I'll let you start 5 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition. Finally, he agreed. They started at the old barn, with Bill 5 meters in front of Ed. They both started running at the same time. As they passed the broken truck, Bill was happy to see that he was beating Ed. But at the last second, Ed sprinted forwards and beat Bill. "Ed!" shouted Bill, exasperated. "I can't believe you beat me! I'm never racing you again." But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race again. "This time, you can start 15 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition, then finally agreed. 15 meters was a long way to catch up. They began to race. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed caught up and beat him. "Ed! I can't believe you beat me! I will never race you again," said Bill. But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race him again. "No way!" said Bill. "This time, I'll let you start at the broken truck," offered Ed. Bill thought for a moment. The truck was very close to the old oak tree, there was no way Ed could beat him. So he agreed. They began to race again. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed beat him again. "That's it!" shouted Bill. "I will never, ever race with you again!" But the next day Ed asked Bill again to race him. "This time, you can start 10 meters from the oak tree." Bill thought about it. There was no way Ed could beat him if he started 10 meters from the finish line. But his thoughts were interrupted by the dog running over. He said, "Bill! Don't race him, he will surely beat you!" Bill was silent for a moment. He looked at the dog, then to Ed. Then back to the dog. Then back to Ed. "Ed," he said perplexedly, "I didn't know dogs could talk too!"

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What's the best thing about 27 year old's? There are 20 of them.

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An blind orphan in an impoverished Irish village develops both AIDS and terminal cancer. You laughed a little at that. You are going to hell.

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Two men are in a bar. One of them turns to the other one and says, "I've slept with your mom." The other one replies "Go home dad you're drunk."

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings

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What did the elephant say to the goldfish? Nothing. Animals are unable to speak and fish aren't able to live on land

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops