If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over? I don't know, I don't look when he bends over because I don't like him like that. He's just a friend, that's all.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

DOWN

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why are gays soo happy , becuase the dont have to listen to women

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mom is so fat the only time she saw 90210 was on a scale.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doctor, help! My hair is falling out! I need something to keep it in!" The doctor says, "sure. Here's some medicine."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did a hipster walks into a health food store? To buy some healthy food.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops