How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

can't wait until the baby boomers die

This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

What's worse than sibling rivalry? having no bones

What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

Whats worst than a worm in you apple? 2 worms in your apple. Whats worst than two worms in your apple? An apple in your Worm. Whats worst than that? I don't know plenty of international tragedies such as plane crashes, and please don't say the holocaust. I was going to say 2 apples in your worm.

My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

Knock Knock No one answers....

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

Roses are tits, Violets are tits, I love tits. Tits.

Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

Why did the baby die? I killed it.

Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

your mom is so lesbian that in prder to have you she planted a seed in her vagina because she refused to have sex with a man

what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...