What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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women playing football?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

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Is this a chair?

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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