Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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A blind man walks into a bar

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Adam Sandler.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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Why couldn't the boy play catch with his dad? His Dad is dead.

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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