What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

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Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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World Peace

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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