How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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Why did the ckicken cross the road? to kiss my ass

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

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your face.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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A mexican goes to an ATM.

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

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why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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james schmitt whats your last name

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Why did Sally not get her permission slip signed? Because her parents where murdered. Why did Sally not think to ask her grandparents? Because there in jail for killing her parents.

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Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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