Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Muslim blows up a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My friend said that onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him with a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the bunny eat his food

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. He says ow

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

b

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo Mama is so fat cuz.. She has accumulated Obesity and needs your help to be rehabilitated due to the fact that she is at a high risk of heart attack, cancer, type 2 diabetes, and Etc. Try to motivate her to decrease food intake and increase physical activity. Thankyou

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops