Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

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Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

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A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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The government makes a good decision

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Hey, did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No He didn't either.

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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